His bark of laughter is loud in the large, empty room. āMe use you? If anyone is using anyone, itās you using me. Donāt worry, Iāll let you use me.ā
Iām blinking fast. āMe, use you?ā
āYes, sugar, youāre using me. Usually, it wouldnāt matter to me why a woman wanted to fuck me as long as she did. I guess today is a day for revelations for the both of us. You didnāt know your pussy gets wet at the idea of being owned, and I didnāt know my cock goes limp at the idea of being used by you.ā
I am not hurt by his annoyance, but I do know heās nuts. āYou are seriously not in your right mind. Iām not using you. Youāre the one talking dirty, who keeps coming after me. I told you the first time I met you that us hooking up doesnāt make sense and itās not what I want. How the hell is this on me?āĀ
He sighs, and I fight the urge to kick him for it. āYou eat me up with your eyes; I can smell your pussy wet for me. Your tits swell and sway, and you thrust them out the minute you catch me looking. Fine, I get it, you donāt even realize youāre doing it, but you are doing it. Iām really supposed to just walk away from you? Sugar, since you are so completely clueless, Iāll tell you right now the way you want meāso bad you ache, so bad you canāt think straight, so bad youāre willing to take a chance you never thought youād takeāthat kind of want and need doesnāt happen very often, and you arenāt the only one feeling it.Ā
āWhat pisses me off is youāre willing to take all I want to give you without giving it back. Youāre trying to figure out how to get the cheese out of the trap without setting it off. Iām the bad boy who fucks at will, used to any chick riding my cock and giving orgasms until a woman canāt move from it. So you figure if heās giving it out to anyone, why not you? That, thatās what pisses me off.
His jaw is tight, his eyes are the color of the arctic in winter, freezing me to the empty, hollow of my chest. āYou arenāt willing to be bad, to get dirty. You want to stay the good girl, sweet, kind, never causes a fuss. Shit, woodland creatures probably clean your place while you sit on your perfectly plump ass sipping on your coffee, while you read the day away. Books where thereās nothing more than a proper, close-mouthed kiss before it fades to black, where the men are noble, dickless prisses who ask for kisses instead of taking them. Iām going to be the villain in the story who sneaks in and takes you. Youāll give in without ever giving anything up, not your good girl image, not yourself, just your body.ā
I hate him. I fucking hate him. I blink, and tears fall. I hate him even more for sighing at the sight of them. Pushing away from the table, my legs are trembling so badly I feel like Iām fighting to stay standing during an earthquake. I want to make my escape from him, from all of this, but not until itās clear this is all his damn fault. āSo itās my fault for buying into the image you sold of yourself? Iām to blame because Iām willing to take what you keep telling me youāre willing to give? I told you Iām not on your level, the very first day. Youāre major league, and I wouldnāt even make it into the little league. Iāve fucked three men, okay? Three, and each of them miserable experiences that left me questioning if it was over, if it was safe to just crawl away and hide. I donāt know what you want from me to know if I can even give it to you or not. You say a few weeks, then you joke about kids. You fuck with my head until I donāt knowāāĀ
I was so wrapped up in my rant I never saw him move, his hands go down to my hips before bringing me up against him. Oh god, heās hard, so very hard and pressing into my stomach. Immediately, my knees go weak as I sag against him. His mouth grazes against my ear. āShhā¦sugar, take a deep breath. Iām sorry. I shouldnāt have taken my frustration out on you even though damn it, Amelia, you started it. Walking in the door spitting fire, cranky as all hell, looking for a fight. Congratulations, you got your wish. Iām never going to be able to deny you what you wantāI knew it the minute I laid my eyes on you.Ā
āAmelia,ā This time my name is throbbing with all his frustration. āI need you to be honest with me, and the real hard part here, with yourself. I get that itās hard for you, for reasons only you know. It doesnāt matter, you need to figure out how. The crappy history with men, that I guessed at, but I never would have thought it was so bad. You make more sense than ever now.
āIāll slow down, let you catch up. Normally, Iām more patient. You have a way of setting me off faster than anyone Iāve ever met. Take a breath, there you go, another one.ā A large warm hand cups my cheek, his thumb wiping tears away. I find the courage to meet his eyes, and the awe in them stuns me. There is no teasing, no anger, nothing but pure awe. āEven crying youāre beautiful.ā